There was once a glorious and enlightening time when I believed in myself. When I felt like I could do anything. A time when I made an effort with my writing, when I networked and asked for help, when I took writing classes, and listened to my blogging/writing mentors. I don’t know the exact moment that I gave up on myself and put my dreams on hold but I did.
I finished reading The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck this weekend and realized that for the last few years I’ve been giving a f*ck about things that I shouldn’t. Thus leaving me constantly stressed-out, drained, and underwhelmed certain situations. I’ve spent too much time caring about what other people think, doing things I don’t want to do, and putting effort into things that don’t bring me an ounce of joy.
“Your time, energy, and/or money spent should result in greater joy for you. If it is going to result in annoy…Stop. Calculate. And maybe don’t give that fuck.” (pg 37)
Thanks to this book I’ve made lists and figured out exactly what brings me joy and what results in annoy. I’ve crossed out things, events, and people from these lists that distract from my ultimate goals and dreams, and that make me feel less than myself.
I’m adopting a new method of #NotSorry and taking control over the amount of f*cks I’m giving. When it comes to wedding plans, I’m not going to agonize over invitations because I really don’t give a f*ck if people think they look cheap (they go in the garbage) but I will ensure that the food is amazing because I like to eat. I’m not going to RSVP yes to an invitation from someone I haven’t seen in years but I will make more of an effort to hang out with my cousins and family because they’re awesome and if they can make a funeral fun, they’re people I should be spending more time with. Most importantly, I’m not going to be sorry about any of it.
It seems that life is a constant battle of choosing which f*cks are worth giving and drawing them out accordingly.