It’s the first “long weekend” of summer and I’m sitting in my parents’ backyard enjoying the cool breeze and warm sunshine. I’m with my mom, dad, grandmother (Avó), and my husband. My brother is taking a nap inside. We’re all feeling a little nostalgic thanks to me. I was looking for a photo to show one of my cousins and ended up going through hundreds of our family photos.

There were snapshots of our trips to someone’s cottage, pool days at my aunt and uncle’s house, a day at the African Lion Safari, and birthday celebrations. Each photo bringing a memory to the front of my brain. I hadn’t realized that we were always out and about, always with our family. My favourite photos are the sepia-toned ones of my mom, dad, aunts and uncles when they were younger than I am now. With their big hair, bigger smiles, and insanely smooth faces, they look like movie stars to me. Just a few kids with dreams of their own and their whole lives ahead of them.

A wave of nostalgia for a time when I wasn’t even alive in washed over me, followed by a feeling of sadness and loss for the amount of years that have gone by. I mean, there’s photos of my grandmother and in them, she’s younger than my parents are right now! I understand the concept of time and aging but it goes by so fast. Even my dad is starting to notice. He mentioned that he feels it most when he goes up to bed at night and sees the three bedrooms that once housed each of his children, completely empty.

My grandmother is 92-years-old and although she still dyes her hair, wears make up, has her nails painted, and is always dressed up, I can see her slowing down. The last few times she was in the hospital definitely took a toll on her. She’s a little unstable on her feet, she can barely hear unless you’re yelling at her, and she speaks slowly, sometimes losing her train of thought. Even still, when she talks, you want to listen to what she has to say.

That evening as she sat up in her chair she said, When you’re young you have to enjoy your life. If you wait until you’re older or when you have lots of money, you’ll never do anything. You’ll get old and can’t move.

I think she was talking about herself. Maybe she has some regrets or maybe she just wants to see her children and grandchildren make the most of their lives. All I know for sure is that she’s right.

xo Vanessa